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Five Guidelines For Taking Selfies On Instagram

selfies on Instagram are a scourge. That’s the argument implied in the latest essay published by Writer John Paul Titlow who’s bringing some needed attention to the sexy selfie-taking narcissism of posting a self-portrait of yourself and uploading it on the web for the world’s other humans to take in. The sheer volume of selfies that use the hashtag #me on Instagram is an unavoidable “scourge,” argues Titlow, turning the popular photo-sharing service into the equivalent of a “high school popularity contest on digital steroids.”

Humans have always been self-centered. This is part that makes us who we are. Indulging in the desire to “check yourself out” and be open about the results with anyone you know won’t make you the subject of massive public shame. Instead, let’s establish some fundamental rules that are, at the core, seek to enhance the overall user experience for all those involved.

Let’s first clarify what a selfie captions means. Let’s be clear about it:

1. It’s a photo with your face.

2. You took the photo. A human being wasn’t in the picture.

3. It’s available online via Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, etc.

These are the rules now:

1. Selfies are not allowed for anyone who is over 21.

Are you legally allowed to drink liquor within the United States of America? If yes, you’re too old to be fishing to get compliments from a self-portrait. You should save the selfies on Instagram teens who can put”ratchet” in a sentence without having to use “ratchet” in a sentence without searching “ratchet” and “urban dictionary” simultaneously.

*Exceptions Models, fashion bloggers, or others who make money from their appearance are exempt from this policy. This includes anyone aged 21 and over who uses the selfie to convey something new to their friends. New haircut: Great! New glasses? Take a snap! Funny, do You like the allinstacaptions mustache? Of course, you can do share. Are you the same? Take the camera off.

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2. The following words and phrases are prohibited from selfie captions.

Bored.

Studying.

Ready for bed.

Good morning.

Hitting the gym.

#GQ (LOL)

Work hard, play hard.

In essence, ask yourself, “What would Kim Kardashian do?” Then, do the same thing.

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3. Use your selfie allotment sparingly

Selfies are akin to paychecks: You get only one per month if you’re like the majority. Do you know the grid on the Instagram screen that can only accommodate nine thumbnails of a square at one time? Your selfie-to-pictures-of-other-stuff ratio should be 1:8. If you don’t comply, it gives your friends the ability to ridicule you brutally.

4. Don’t be a fool!

No duck lips. ironic peace signs. No fake sleep. Never sleeping on the couch. No crying children behind you. These sorts of things are not negotiable. Smile if you’re willing to for it. Inability to comply allows your friends to slap you.

5. Take responsibility for it

You’re permitted to show some of your skin. However, it would help if you were accountable for the goals you’re attempting to achieve when you do it. For instance: “Check out my sick abs, guys” is more appropriate than “Lol, my bathroom mirror is dirty

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